


Body language

by SilverBells



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Steve is learning body-language, Tony isn't allowed to talk, Tony/Steve - Freeform, bruce banner being sneaky, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-14 20:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverBells/pseuds/SilverBells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce (and basically everybody else) has had it up to here with Tony and Steve bickering like schoolgirls, so he comes up with a plan to shut them up. </p><p>And maybe have them admit they have the hots for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The bet

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit this isn't a completely original idea, because it was inspired by a story in another fandom with a similar plot, but I promise this story will be completely original aside from that.  
> Plus, it's like way cute in this fandom. :3  
> Now enjoy,

“–and YOU are an insufferable brat that can’t keep his bloody mouth shut!” 

Everybody in the large living room of Avengers tower is immediately brought to silence, when Steve Rogers – Steve fucking _Rogers_ , finally loses his patience and actually _shouts_ at Tony Stark, whilst using a swear-word at that. 

Tony raises and eyebrow and then glances at his fellow avengers with a trademark ‘Who me?’ look of innocence on his face. “That was offensive,” he states, a tone of surprise in his voice before he makes the proclamation, “I am offended,” right in Steve’s face. 

Natasha snickers, as Bruce puts down his book and rubs at the bridge of his nose. He’s getting quite tired of this. And with _this_ he doesn’t just mean the bickering, surprisingly.  
They’ve been at it for at least twenty minutes now, all up in each other’s faces in some kind of alpha clash they insist on having every time either of them makes a mistake. He watches carefully when Steve makes the next move. 

“Well that makes you and the entirety of the American government and probably Canada, too,” Steve says through his teeth, unaffected by the amount of personal space that’s being invaded while he and Tony have the fiercest of staring competitions. 

“I only told them what _everybody_ in the room was thinking-” Tony protests, but Steve – once more, very uncharacteristically – interrupts him.  
“Thinking, Tony, _thinking_ ,” he stresses, his hands all over the place as usual when, “Something you are apparently incapable of-” Tony makes an indignant tone of disbelief, “Doing in private,” Steve finishes irritably. 

Tony snorts and counters, “Well I’m _sorry_ , Captain-mixed-signals, but I was under the impression honesty was a virtue.” 

“So are humility and _restraint_.” 

Thor chuckles and Bruce sighs again, deciding to speak up before Tony can go on a tirade to explain just why it was okay to tell the whole of the US senate that they’re ‘a bunch of assholes that need to get their shit together so the Avengers won’t have to clean it up every goddamn time’.  
Bruce secretly agrees with him, but that’s Tony’s rant face right there and he knows he has to head him off early before he really gets going. 

“Steve’s got a point, you know?” he says, adjusting his glasses so he can look at Tony properly. He’s unsurprised to find the genius looking at him as if he’s committed a crime against god himself.  
Which, in Tony’s world, he has. 

“You too?” Tony says indignantly, glaring at both Bruce and Natasha, who is whispering what probably are nasty comments into Clint’s ear, “Is there nobody on this world I can trust?” 

“Trust me when I say Steve’s right,” Bruce counters calmly, “You couldn’t keep your mouth shut even if you tried.”

Snap. Bingo. Bull’s-eye.

Tony’s totally distracted from his fight with Steve, thank god, and focusses entirely on Bruce, his face something that would make most people shit their pants, but not Bruce.  
Steve, meanwhile, throws his hands up in the air in frustration and sinks down on a nearby chair. 

“Is that a challenge, Banner?” Tony says, smirking in Bruce’s direction with an expression that just screams his cocky disbelief in Bruce’s willingness to participate in his daily need of bickering. 

“What if it is?” 

This makes the room go silent in a whole different way and Tony’s eyebrows are now close to disappearing into his hairline. 

“A wager!” Thor proclaims, slapping Bruce on the back, harder than he probably realises, “I approve of this.” 

Natasha stares at him and Bruce tries to ignore her as he leans forward, his elbows on his knees and chooses his next words carefully, “I bet you can’t hold your tongue, outside of official business, for- let’s see, a week.” 

Tony looks at him with calculating eyes and then opens his mouth.  
“Yes,” Bruce answers in advance, “That includes singing along with your obnoxious music.” Tony closes his mouth and then smirks, because he has this ‘fuck you, I’m awesome’ attitude towards life in general and thus never backs down from a challenge. Bruce is counting on this.

“Okay fine,” he says, crossing his arms, “When do I–” 

“–but,” Bruce interrupts, again, “Steve has to do something, as well.”  
Steve, who has been moping in his chair up until that point, looks up in surprise, “What me? Why do I have to participate in this stupid bet?” 

“Because the world would be a better place if the both of you were to be occupied with something that doesn’t involve biting each other’s heads off,” Natasha comments dryly and Bruce shoots the redhead, who is draped over the couch like she owns it, a grateful look. 

“Imagine a world where Tony Stark finally shuts the hell up, that would be a heavenly place indeed,” the other occupant of the couch – Clint – adds, to which Tony reacts with a defensive, “Hey, I’m not _that_ bad!” 

“Yes you are,” Bruce continues, “So I'll win the bet by default.”  
Bruce might be a little shy at times, but he knows exactly how to manipulate people into doing what he wants them to do. 

“The hell you will,” mutters Tony. 

“So what’s the deal with me?” Steve questions, eyes narrowed at both Bruce and Tony, “I’m not the one that offended half the American government, and then some.”

“Nope, but you’re the one who’s most upset about it and,” Bruce adds with a finger pointed in the air, as if he’s about to reveal the scientific break-through of the century, “You punched that guy in the café in the face because you thought he was assaulting a girl.” 

Steve mouth forms a perfect ‘O’ and Tony looks amused, as they watch him gape like a fish for a few seconds. “She seemed distressed,” he says eventually, crossing his arms, "I don't see what this has to do with all of this, I apologised profusely for my mistake.” 

“True,” Bruce admits and rises from his chair, “but it also proves that you’re still clueless about human interaction in the twenty-first century.” 

Natasha is openly smiling at Bruce now, as he stands up from his seat and goes to stand in between Steve's chair and Tony, who is leaning against the bar. “So when Tony works on his vocal problems,” Tony makes another indignant sound, “ _You_ will work on your social-defects.” 

Both men are now staring at each other, as if to determine whether the other one is up for the challenge. 

“Fine,” says Steve, eventually, to which Tony reacts with his own, “Bring it on, Banner,” and they both turn to look at him expectantly. 

There’s another hard slam on his upper back, which he’s come to identify with Thor’s gigantic hand and the god’s voice booms in his ear; “Well then, friend Banner, what shall be the conditions of this fine wager you have made? There must be rules to this game, am I not mistaken?” 

Bruce nods at the Asgardian and glances at Natasha, who has already grabbed one of Tony’s sketching-pads and is looking at him expectantly as well.

“As of midnight this day,” Bruce begins, watching as Natasha scribbles down what he says, “Tony Stark will utter no word and remain in utter silence until the same time next week, unless he is in grave danger and absolutely has to.”

Tony holds up a hand to stop him and suggests; “That would include business-meetings, right, because Pepper will absolutely kill me if I play mute throughout important negotiations.” 

Bruce nods, “That seems like a legit excuse, Natasha if you please?” 

“Already noted,” the Russian spy answers, looking way too pleased about the whole situation. Bruce sighs again and then continues. 

“As of midnight this day, Steve Rogers will begin his social-studies on the twenty-first century, with the help of means yet to be determined, which will be given to him by me, Dr. Bruce Banner, at the start of the bet and have them finished by the same time next week.” 

Both Tony and Steve agree and sign their names at the bottom of the tablet. Natasha makes prints for all three of them and then it's done. 

“Good,” Bruce ends the conversation, “and remember guys, midnight.” 

Tony only nods, before he storms out of room, presumably to go and find Pepper to damage her precious ears with as much unnecessary conversation as he can manage to fit into the few hours he has left until the clock strikes twelve. 

Steve, as predicted, goes to the gym. 

“Friend Bruce,” Thor questions, when the two main participants of the bet have left them, “I am not certain that you will win this bet.”  
Bruce smiles and answers; “Neither am I, my dear Thor.”

“Then why do you participate in a wager you are unsure of winning ?” Thor bellows, with his common ‘I am amused by mortals’ expression on his face. 

“Because of the prize,” Bruce answers simply. 

Thor is now genuinely confused and prods on; “I heard no agreements on a price, Bruce Banner, what is it that this so called bet will bring you that makes it okay for you to lose it at the same time?” 

Bruce smiles and re-adjusts his glasses, “A whole week of complete peace and silence, Thor, that’s what.”


	2. The book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony is determined, Steve gets a book and Coulson is offended, yet very insightful.

When the clock strikes twelve that night in Avengers-tower, things are- eerily silent, while each individual Avenger has retreated to his or her quarters, musing over the recent happenings. 

Tony is in his workshop, after a lengthy conversation with one Pepper Potts has had him conclude that he best way to start off his week of complete and utter silence is to see whether he can at least refrain from talking to _himself_ for any length of time, as he so often does. 

Buddy has already offered to spray him with the fire-extinguisher twice, but he’s kept silent, even though it’s slightly pitiful to look at the robot, who is so used to being babbled to – and occasionally shouted at – that it’s confusing to him when it doesn’t happen. 

Tony’s already made a new program for his tablet that allows him to give JARVIS written orders, so he can be entirely amused by Tony’s situation, instead of worrying over playing charades with him. 

All nosy AI’s aside, Tony muses, it isn’t terribly hard to keep his mouth shut – not that he’d ever admit to this, of course – but he expects more difficulties come morning, when he has to face his teammates, who will undoubtedly try to coax him into talking and make him loose the bet. 

Tony’s not about to let that happen. He’s not a sore loser, per sé, but that doesn’t mean he likes it, so he’s determined follow through and keep his mouth shut for the rest of the week. He’s going to win this sucker, even if it means he has to pull out one of the many gags – presents from previous conquests – lying around. 

Bruce will probably protest against such means of help, though, Tony figures, as he pulls one of the arm plates of the mark VI, which he’s been repairing since the heli-carrier incident.  
Hell, if he’s going to let the other scientist win, though. 

Steve, meanwhile, is sitting in his bedroom with his head held in his hand, thinking.   
He usually leaves the big thoughts to Tony and Bruce, because they’ve got the big brains, but this doesn’t mean he’s completely incapable of logical thought – even though they often make him feel like that and there’s something fishy about this bet, even though he can’t quite put his finger on why. 

It isn’t like Bruce to make ridiculous bets, especially not with Tony and not with this. Out of all of them, Bruce is usually the least annoyed by Tony’s constant output of words. It’s not logical that he’s the one to snap. 

He’s roused from his ponderings by three soft knocks on the door and an even softer, “Steve, it’s me, can I come in?”   
But, super senses and he smiles as he calls; “Of course, Bruce, come on in.”

Bruce smiles, too, when he enters Steve’s room, which is so much larger than the apartment SHIELD had him living in before, and closes the door behind him. Steve immediately perceives he’s holding something behind his back.

“I assume you’ve found the subject of my part of the bargain?” he asks, crossing his arms, because he’s still not happy with the whole situation. People wouldn’t have appreciated him declining the bet, though, that much he knows about twenty-first-century-people, because that would’ve given Tony and opening to decline as well and he’s kind of okay with Tony being silent for a week, even if it means he has to increase his knowledge on previously mentioned century.   
Steve will be the first to admit he’s bad at understanding the ‘modern’ world, so it’s not a completely bad thing, he supposes and thus his voice is slightly tainted with curiosity. 

“Yeah,” Bruce says, and comes to sit on the bed with Steve and his hands uncross from behind his back. It’s a book and Steve almost lets out a sigh of relief. A book he can handle. 

“Thanks,” he says and takes the book from Bruce. It’s not all that large and a bit thick, but not thick enough to be unable to finish within a week. It’s also red and the words ‘The art of body language (a guide to the body and mind of others)’ are written in bold letters across the front. 

“Body language?” Steve questions and looks up to meet Bruce’s eyes. The scientist only smiles vaguely and waves Steve’s confusion away with a watch-clad flick of his wrist. 

“It’s written in this century, so I figured it counts as twenty-first century material and I thought you might find it interesting. It was a great read for me.”  
It doesn’t surprise Steve that Bruce has read the book, because even without the added pressure of the bet, Bruce is even more of a reader than Steve is. 

“Well I suppose I better get started then,” Steve sighs, though he has to admit he’s slightly intrigued by the promised contents of the book, “If I want this finished by the end of the week.”  
Maybe it will actually give him some insight on the minds of his modern house-mates. 

Bruce, smiling cheekily, adds; “At least you’ve got the best of possible circumstances to work under,” and they have a good snicker over Tony’s situation. 

Thor, meanwhile, is wondering why in the name of the almighty all-father, someone would make a bet he’s sure to loose. He eventually shakes his head, mutters, “Midgardians!” and goes to sleep.

* * *

_**Chapter one ;** an introduction to the human body._

_The obvious answer to the question of what would be human kind’s main way of communicating would be this; speech. However, in addition to conversation and the exchange of carefully censored words, there are countless of ways for people to tell you something, without even having to open their mouths. Over the course of this book we will show you one of these ways; the language of the body._

_Body-language is spoken by nearly everyone, but is usually – as opposed to speech – subconscious and much closer to the truth than its louder alternative. Posture, facial-expressions and certain ways of moving are all vital puzzle-pieces to understanding another person._

_The ability to read another person’s body language is a skill everyone possesses, but not everybody has mastered, but when used accordingly, can help determine the real meaning of things.  
The body of another person, if he or she is unaware of this art, will never lie to you and tell you whether it is lying to you or, even, attracted to you. _

_The main thing to remember is that context is everything, if one is to interpret all the signs and movements accordingly. You should always keep in mind that a person’s way of reacting to something is always based off this person’s upbringing, their beliefs and culture and this should always be taken into consideration when reading someone’s body language.  
The second most important thing is to never let your subject know you are observing him/her, for this will annihilate any chance of accurate reading. _

_Basic reading  
Step 1:  
Pay attention to how close someone is to you. The closer they are, the warmer they are thinking of you. The farther away that someone is, the less they actually care of the situation or person. If you move slightly closer to them, do they move slightly further away? That means they don't want your interaction to be any more personal than it already is. If they don't move further away, then they are receptive. And if they respond by getting even closer to you, they probably really like you or are very comfortable around/by you.   
Something called ‘Mirroring’ is another common gesture that indicates interest and comfort. If someone mirrors, or mimics your appearance, this is a very genuine sign that they are interested in you and trying to establish rapport with you. Try changing your body position here and there. If you find that they change theirs similarly, they are mirroring you. _

Steve looks up from his book when he feels the couch beside him dip and finds Phil Coulson on the couch next to him. 

“Hello, Sir,” he says, politely, wondering what has the other man rubbing his hands over his face in obvious expiration, “Anything the matter?”

Coulson sighs and mutters; “Bloody Stark.”

Steve raises and eyebrow at the office-soldier and – with his book in mind – scoots a little closer towards him, where he would have normally kept his distance, as was custom with a conversation between two men in his time, and he’s surprised to find it sets off an immediate reaction with Coulson. 

“How can someone manage to be an absolute annoyance without uttering a single word?” Coulson says, with a questioning look towards Steve, “I swear to god, it’s impossible to have a normal conversation with that man when he _is_ speaking, but it just become ten times worse when he’s not.” 

Steve carefully puts down his book and balances his head in his hand, which is resting on his knee, “What did he do, make offensive footnotes?” Steve asks and asks sincerely, because he can imagine Tony holding up signs with insulting content to anyone close enough to read them while he’s not allowed to talk and verbally taunt them. 

He shifts his position to one where he is leaning against the back of the couch again, now sitting side-ways, facing the other SHIELD AGENT.   
To his surprise and delight, Coulson shifts as well, so he’s in a similar half-turned position and facing Steve. Steve can’t believe the book is right and this is actually working. 

“No,” Coulson sighs, though he seems horrified by that idea as well, “He insisted on using me as some sort of overgrown hand puppet to get his points across.” 

Steve laughs at this, partially because he has to admit it’s a funny mental image and partially because he’s amazed by the immediate application of the book on his way of perceiving people. 

“I don’t think my personal space has ever felt so invaded,” Coulson complains, though he’s lost the edge and is already re-fastening his tie.   
He gets up from the couch and smiles gratefully at Steve, “I do admire you, Captain.”

Steve, thoroughly confused by this comment, sinks back into the cushions of the couch and watches Coulson walk halfway out of the room, before he turns around on the doorstep. He raises his eyebrows in question.

“You seem to have a great amount of tolerance when it comes to Stark’s near-proximity,” Coulson explains, “Even when he’s in the sourest of moods, during a debriefing; it’s quite the exceptional talent.”

Huh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of the 'book' Steve is reading is either written by me or taken and adapted from http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Body-Language this site. 
> 
> Once again, this is not béta'd and I apologise for any mistakes.


End file.
